Understanding Grief

Grief is a natural response to loss. It is not a weakness, a failure, or something to “get over.”
As we grow older, loss becomes part of life — the death of a spouse or partner, close friends,
siblings, or even the loss of independence, health, or familiar routines
Each loss carries its own weight.

For some, the loss can come if a partner develops dementia; at that time they may grieve
the loss of the person that they knew and loved, who is no longer there.
Grief affects people differently. There is no correct timetable.

The stages of grief — typically identified as denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance —
represent a framework for understanding the complex emotions following a loss, as established
by Elisabeth Kübler-Ross.

These stages do not follow a linear, strict timeline; individuals may cycle through them in varying orders, skipping stages, or experiencing them simultaneously, as part of the natural, personal healing process.

The 5 Stages of Grief (DABDA Model)

• Denial: A temporary, unconscious, or conscious refusal to accept the reality of the loss, acting as a defence mechanism against overwhelming shock.
• Anger: As denial fades, reality sets in, bringing intense pain that is often projected outward as anger toward oneself, loved ones, or a higher power.
• Bargaining: An attempt to regain control or reverse the loss through “if only” statements and promises, often in an effort to postpone the pain.
• Depression: A deep, quiet, and intense feeling of sadness, emptiness, or longing that occurs when the magnitude of the loss is realized.
• Acceptance: This is not about being “okay” with the loss, but rather accepting the new, permanent reality and learning to live with it.

Personal Experience: Grief is unique; there is no set timeframe for any stage, and feelings can resurface unexpectedly. 

A Gentle Reminder:  Grief is the price we pay for love.  It reflects the depth of connection.

In time, the sharp pain softens. Memories remain — and often become a source of comfort rather than only sorrow.

Coping with grief: There are many ways in which people will cope with grief, some of which are better than others.  The attached PDF (“Coping With Grief: Healthy Ways to Navigate Loss”) gives some solid ideas as to coping with grief.  GO… 

Note that there may be grief support groups in your environment.  Several churches run regular groups, so check around to see if there is a relevant one in your community.

There are several other aspects of grief that are addressed below:

Carer Fatigue:  This can become a serious problem for someone who is caring for a seriously ill person.  See this article for more details and advice on this.  GO…
Grief and Loneliness:  Can also be a problem.  There is a PDF on his topic.  GO…
Grief adjustment after loss:  See the PDF on this topic.  GO…
Supporting a grieving loved one on holidays and special occasions:  There is a PDF about this.  GO…